What's in a name? (are you kidding me?)

My last name is Aycock…pronounced A-cock. Although I am proud of being my father’s child, it was hard to get through high school with that name. You understand. So my brother and I decided to make it a “thang”. We didn’t have a lot of things in common in high school…for that matter…ever, but we did share the name. Because high school kids are so droll, they called us by our last name. My brother thought it was funny, or didn't think about it at all. We’ll leave it at that. It was bad enough just having someone scream my last name down the crowded hallway of our school, echoing endlessly, but what made it even worse was the fact that most of my friends had shortened my first name (and I don’t believe this was thought all the way through in the beginning) to Ter. That’s right. Ter A-cock. While I’m all about fun and games, you gotta admit, this could lead more than a few red faces. Maybe therapy. Okay…lotsa therapy. I was oblivious to it in elementary school, leaving my creative junior high school compadres to call upon their creative juices. That’s when I started dreading role call. Teachers would get to my name…hesitate, then look up and say “Eye-cock?”…which was the common mispronunciation, but the fun started when almost every kid in class corrected her or him by screaming back “A-cock!” (It was a small community and everybody knew everybody). As I slowly put my forehead down on my desk, I waited for the onslaught of laughter that I knew would follow. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was funny too. It was the only time a kid could get away with saying that and not get in trouble. Ah, the memories.

College was much better (sarcasm). I had mistakenly assumed that college kids were more mature (stoopid) and would not make this an issue…until…

The first class I attended, role was called, last names first, of course. I was always first, beings my last name began with an A, so I cringed when the professor made an attempt at my name. He looked in his book, raised his head and scanned the room before saying, “Eye-cock?” Understand, we are a bunch o’ nervous teenagers...not even remotely close to being accountable for anything. The room fell silent and every kid in there giggled and bit his or her bottom lip as they, too, searched the room for the unfortunate soul bearing that name. I leaned over, putting my forehead on my desk, like so many times prior, and slowly raised my hand, much like a flag of surrender, and I braced myself. “A-cock, sir.” Being quiet natured and not wanting to draw attention, no one ever heard me the first time that I replied. I blame myself for that. “I’m sorry?” …indicating that he hadn’t heard me. “A-cock, sir!” and in an instant, all …and I do mean all, eyes were on me. The next question caused more than a few to lose their composure. “Are you sure?” to which I replied, “As far as I know.” It sounded like a bunch of balloons deflating as, one by one, the classroom lost every bit of its composure…or so I thought (silly me). The professor slammed his book on his desk in an attempt to gain control. Now, most of you might think it couldn’t get much worse (silly you). As the atmosphere calmed, the role call continued. My hopes and dreams were realized when the professor started calling out the last names that began with G.

He hesitated before he read the next name.

“Glasscock”

The classroom lost all composure. At that moment, I knew the baton had been passed because, let’s face it, Glasscock is much funnier than Aycock. As the class continued to laugh, we noticed the professor, role book in hand, sit down as he continued staring into his book. He stood back up, glared at us, pointing with his other hand, first to his eye and to us, signifying that he was watching to see who would fall apart, and whoever did would be the recipient of some sort of penance. And then it came.

“Hancock.”

Not only did hysteria erupt, a couple of the “good ole boys” got up and left the room, their laughter shattering the quiet hallway.

We were instant friends, all three of us, because we shared the tag now; and we commiserated all the way to the dorm, where all of us would spend the next few months as friends.

We were given clever nicknames later (two minutes later). Jennifer “Handover” Hancock, Linda “Love my” Glasscock, and of course… Terry “Rip ‘n Ter” Aycock.

And so we were. And when we were together, all three of us, we would hear…often…

“There they are…the three…”

Well, you know what’s next.

My son has suggested that my nephew (who shares my maiden name) name his first child Sharon, if he ever has a baby and the baby is a girl, and Holden if it's a boy. I’m just gonna let you put those names together yourself and realize that I will, trust me, fight tooth and nail for that not to happen, although, you have to admit…it’s purdy dang creative.

True story.

© Terry Aycock Ensign